Growing up I loved split pea soup.
My Dad is a cook to be reckon with. Even though he doesn’t follow a certain recipe he has a “feel” for how much of each ingredient to toss in. And man, this soup is incredible. To this day, I could inhale bowl after bowl of the chunky goodness. How do you eat this soup from the heavens?
With a spoon of course.
Not a fork (Thanks for the ground-breaking lesson Kelan)
It’s the same with communication and influence…
Gerry Spence, the notorious lawyer who has never lost a case, author of How to Win An Argue And Win Every Time talks about communication being like eating vegetable soup.
You can eat it with a fork and stab a carrot… a hunk of potato… and a token pea. And you could eat it that way. But it’s going to take a while. It’s going to slow the whole process down. The same thing when you try to pick just the right words when you speak.
Instead, you can use a spoon and consume it altogether. Because that’s how it’s meant to be consumed. Words are meant to flow freely as well.
“If I am real, if I am speaking
from the heart zone,
the right words will come.”
So true! Get in the right emotional state and BOOM. The right words… the right stories… the right connections will come flowing through you…
When I used to be a “mess of a communicator” one of the things that stopped me was a belief that I had to know exactly the right words before I spoke. Garbage! This made it way harder and more awkward.
Now I follow Abracadabra. No, not how magicians use it before they yank a rabbit out of a hat. This word comes from the word “Avra Kedoobar” meaning, “I will create as I speak”.
Create as you speak. It’s way easier. You’ll have way more emotional power in your words. You’ll come across with greater authenticity to your listener. And yes, going in with a game-plan is a wise decision. But once you’ve prepped and the show has begun - let it flow freely.
And sure, you may make mistakes when you talk, but so what?
You just correkt *correct*, (whoops!) along the way.
Or laugh at it. Or use it to your advantage.
So remember: influence from a spoon. Not a fork.
P.S. If you want more influence secrets I highly recommend grabbing a copy of my Influence Acceleration newsletter. It is a stick of influence and persuasion dynamite. Inside you'll learn: According to British scientists, these five words are biologically addicting to the brain. These simple words raised levels of serotonin and endorphins in the brain. In fact, a best-selling author was notorious for sprinkling them in her books making them "unputdownable". No, it was not J.K Rowling but someone even MORE successful.
Check out this influence newsletter to learn more.
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You can’t make this stuff up.
Years ago, I was sitting in my home office overlooking the forest. I enjoyed the scenery and watching the wildlife. Like the deer that passed by or the squirrels that chased each other.
But I did NOT enjoy a particular racket that occurred several times per day…
It was almost hard to believe.
There was a couple who lived below me who 2-3x per day would take out their Wiener dog.
That seems normal, right?
The dog’s gotta do its business.
However, when they took it out they yelled at it,
Jordan. Go potty!
(Repeat 50-100 times)
Over and OVER again. Not for like thirty seconds… not for a couple minutes…
Try like 15-20 minutes straight….
It’s the exact same words OVER and OVER again.
As you can imagine, this is about as pleasant as listening to… nails on a chalkboard… a screaming baby… or a dental drill…
I’m not sure if they’ve never had a dog before or what. But they insist on yelling at this poor little pup over and over again instead of taking it on a walk.
Maybe some dogs respond to this command. But the fact that it takes 15-20 minutes straight of shouting tells me it doesn’t work here. I don’t think the dog connects the command “Go potty” to going to the bathroom.
I think it just stares blankly, gets bored, and eventually waters the grass.
Now as unusual as this is, it’s a perfect example of a critical Law of Influence.
And that is this…
If something isn’t working… CHANGE YOUR APPROACH.
If what you’re doing to influence, motivate, or move another person isn’t working… CHANGE YOUR APPROACH.
Don’t keep trying the same tactic… the same strategy… the same technique… if it’s not working, do something else!
Use a NEW tactic, use a different approach, a different angle, or different technique from the one you are currently using.
It seems so simple.
But it’s easy to forget.
So don’t keep yelling “Go potty” when you’re trying to influence other people.
P.S. Sometimes the smallest adjustment can make all the difference. Sometimes it’s the simplest things that can open the floodgates. When it comes to persuasion and influence, there are certain techniques that pack major fire-power. Over the years, after working with thousands of people, I’ve been fortunate to gather hundreds of ways to do this. I’d be happy to show you some of the ones I use again… and again for influencing one-on-one or in groups – click here to learn more
P.P.S. Eventually I heard the people below insert “please”. “Please go potty” Maybe that’s exactly what the dog was waiting for. Good ole manners.
Can personal development accelerate your leadership ability? Once of the best illustrations of this comes from Darren Hardy the Publisher of Success Magazine:
He was a little boy in North Carolina who was frequently beat in sports by his older brother Larry.
Larry was somebody everyone looked up to and everyone wanted to be like. In fact, family and friends would say, “Why don’t you be more like Larry?”
At the time this little boy was considered lazy, he only held one job during his life. But when it came to sports it was a different story.
One day while watching the Olympics on TV and witnessing the US team getting beat he told his Mom, “I’m going to be in the Olympics one day and I’m going to win.”
He was right...